May: Surrounded by support, seen and unseen.

 It's weird to think that JJ is just over two weeks old.  Seems like he's been around much longer.  The girls absolutely love him.  I would have thought Hailey would have been the big sister that helped the most, but oddly enough it's been Emi who wants to be right by JJ's side and help.  She wants to learn how to change diapers and how to hold him and carry him.  

 

This past couple days have shown me just how many people are around us that we can reach out to if we need something.  We don't have grandparents close by to "watch the kiddos."  But Patti Edgel reached out after JJ was born and took the girls for most of two days.  We had people bring us meals.  Many helped or offered help.  

Lezli came into town for a few days. That's covered in a different post.

Joel and I lucked out on Sunday late night to catch the stomach flu at the same time.  In 8 years, we've never been sick at the same time!  Fortunately, we had lots of help even from a distance.  

Dana Lopez helped to pick up donor milk from my chiropractic friend.  Go figure.  People that I meet months and years ago all come together.  Dr. Catania helped with adjustments and we would talk during sessions.  I knew about her twins and that she was a pumping mom.  Because I couldn't eat or drink much, I was worried that my milk supply for JJ would drop and he'd get hangry.  Oh and he did!  Dr. Catania was gracious enough to donate some of her stash.  Dana picked it up and dropped it off.  

Ryan ran to the grocery store to get fluffy white french bread and Gatorade.

Becky Instacarted us more Gatorade and Pedialite.  

As I laid on the couch, JJ snuggled up close, I realized that maybe this is my bodies way of saying slow down.  It's only been two weeks. 

 

MAY Brings Lala

With Joel having found his birth family, the number of family members has more than doubled.  For all of them, this was the first grandchild that was born.  Lezli was the first to be able to make it out.  She came out Sunday, May 9th, Mother's Day.  The girls were excited to go to the airport and pick her up.  

We had to do some rearranging of beds and rooms but we figured out a sleeping situation.  The play room became Lala's room for the week.  

We went swimming.  They painted nails.  Lala got her snuggles in.  The girls got their shopping in. 

 

Ending March in Style and FAST!

Jessie Joel Southward Smith.  Born April 29, 2021. Delivered at 9:13pm at home by his Daddy.  8 pounds, 21.25 inches. 

We planned to be home. That's about as much control as we had over the events.  The day was a typical Thursday with the gym, work, playing, and back to the gym for Emi's swim lesson.  Hailey's play class was cancelled so she stayed home with me from 4:30-6.  We had dinner prepped before everyone left so we painted Hailey's fingers and toes, taking mommy Hailey time.  I had some minor contractions but I brushed them off as braxton hicks. Joel got home at 6:15 and we started getting dinner ready.  

Joel had that look on his face of, you sure those are just BH? I set up a contraction app to clock things but contractions, spacing, and intensity were all super sporadic.  I messaged Tiffany and she didn't seem concerned.  We finished dinner and watched a vet show with the girls were the contractions became even more spaced and sporadic.  I figured JJ was coming eventually.  He was super active which was weird bc I don't remember the girls moving so much.  Tiff said that sometimes babies move a bunch trying to get into a better position.  So I stood up and did pelvic tilts and rocked my hips.  If he needs to be in a better position, why not help him out?!

The show ended around 8 and Joel got the girls ready for bed.  Because the contractions had spaced to almost 8-10 minutes and even more sporadic, Tiff said go lay down on my left side and time 5 contractions and send it to her.  This was around 8:30.  I made it thru 3 contractions on my left but they were much stronger that way and I had to get up.  I did the 4th standing by my bedside and started shaking.  I went to the bathroom feeling pressure and queasy.  I stood by my sink and my water broke.  (I have always hated the idea of my water breaking on my bed or on the carpet... who wants to clean that up!)  Yeah for the easy clean up on tile.  

The only thing was that the water was brown.  I video called Tiff right away to tell her that my water broke and that it wasn't clear.  It was 8:56pm.  She stayed on the line until the call dropped. I had the pressure and urge to push.  Contractions were over.  He was coming.  It was weird because she asked if he was crowning, so I had to check that.  Middle finger length away.  Half a middle finger length away.  He's coming fast!

With Hailey the worst feeling was the burning ring of fire when they crown and the pressure is super intense and at times more painful but on a different level than contractions.  I felt that pressure with Brystol and it was again here with JJ.  I don't know what was different this time though.  I recognized the pressure and fire and instead of shying away from it, I just breathed through it and tried to bring him down.  

During solitary confinement, aka mandatory nightly magnesium bath, I took the time to reread the hypno-birthing chapters about birth.  I think reading about the breathing and staying calm really helped.  I didn't want a panicked birth, a pain-filled or anxiety filled birth.  I didn't want screaming or cursing.  I didn't know if it was possible.

I had prepped my body over the months with exercise, massage and then 3-4 times a week pool exercise and walking.  I had practiced squatting and opening my hips in the pool and that helped tremendously.  I was able to stand and then just squat without muscle fatigue. 

We had planned for a water birth and had the pool blown up and water filling.  When my water was brown Tiff recommended not getting in.  Plus it was still way to hot.  We turned off the water and it was the perfect temperature after he was delivered.  Irony.

Tiff was on the video call most of the time then Joel called her back.  Joel has never wanted to be down in front for the birth/show.  He likes his spot up near the shoulders, so being the one to deliver wasn't his favorite idea, but when there are no other options and I'm about to reach down and do it myself, he reacted.  I think after he processed it, it was a sweet experience for him.  Hopefully he'll add to the blog later his side of things.

When JJ was first delivered, he didn't scream or cry out.  He still needed to process how to use his lungs.  But as two parents who don't deliver babies we didn't know what was normal or not.  But not breathing or crying is considered not normal.  Joel unwrapped the cord from around his shoulder and Tiff walked him through what to do. Rub him.  Tilt him slightly downward so the fluids can come out of his mouth and nose.  Pat his back.  Soon that little body came to life and started to cry and wimper.  It was never a shrill ear piercing wail, but enough to say, "Ok, ok, I'll breathe if you'll stop patting me!" 

I knew it was important to have skin contact to help regulate his body temperature and bonding, so I whipped off my shirt and naked cuddle time it was!

After he was breathing, then we just had to sit back and wait.  Tile is great for cleaning up, for keeping cool, but not so much for sitting on after having a baby!  My butt was going numb while waiting.  Tiff finally got here and checked him out.  He was doing well.  I was doing well.  We cleaned things up and handed JJ off to Joel.  I was covered in all kinds of bodily fluids and wanted nothing more than a shower!  

I got cleaned up.  Joel got cleaned up.  JJ got cleaned up.  Then we all just hung out on the bed to let JJ adjust.  This is one of the things that I love the most about a home birth vs a hospital birth.  The hospital whisks the baby away to do weight and measurements and apgar testing and xyz.  At home, Tiff wanted nothing more for me to move my caboose faster and just get in bed and have some down time.  Relax.  

2 hours later she did her testing.  

We planned for a home birth.  We didn't plan to deliver him ourselves.  I knew that I can have fast labors and deliveries but this one definitely took the cake with twinges starting at 5:30-6 and baby being born a little after 9.  

Tiff and her assistant, ___,  left a little after midnight.  JJ ate one more time and then went to sleep.  He slept from 1-4.  I tried to sleep but the afterbirth cramps kept me up.  Blasted body! Hopefully more sleep will come later as we figure out a good routine.

At 10:30, we brought Hailey in to see her brother.  She was excited and loved holding him, then gave him back to go back to bed.  At 5:45 I hear a rustle at the bedroom door, but we had locked it.  Smart kiddos, Emi came in through the back patio door to our room.  Might as well let them in and see brother.  Hailey was the bearer of good news.  Baby brother was born last night!

JJ had eaten and dream nursed from 4-6 and as soon as Hailey sat down to hold him, he crashed out.  The sound of all those loud girls didn't phase him, but almost seemed comforting enough to sleep to.  They took turns holding him and loving on him.  They are excited.

The rest of the morning and day was filled with phone calls and texts and a couple people dropping by.  Patti Edgle took the girls for a morning play date.  She kept Hailey and Emi but brought Brystol back for nap time.  It was a mellow first day.  A good day.

Sirius, our dog, stayed in the living room during the birth and then he slowly has made his way closer to check out the little man.  We were curious how he was going to react.  Any squeak or peep or cry and he comes running to check on him.  He wants to snuggle and be protective.  Once when I was taking a nap, Sirius jumped up and laid down and then scooted closer, and then put his paw on him when he'd whimper. Sirius usually loves walks and can't wait to leave, but now he reluctantly leaves and can't wait to get back.  On walks when Joel takes JJ, Sirius won't go far. JJ is spoiled everywhere. 

Photos from birth thru the first week. 

March snapshots

 March has been a busy month.  At the beginning of the month, Joel flew out to Texas to "look" at possible job openings and companies.  I think it was just a weekend with cheap flights and the job looking was the perfect excuse for a Father/Son/Man weekend.  Joel left Friday afternoon and came back Sunday evening.  There was the occasional interview and looking at businesses but mostly it was Joel and Derrick burning the midnight oil up all night talking about life...which includes work.

There was plenty of food and conversation.  Joel came back late Sunday night and the girls wanted to stay up late to be there to pick them up.  Even though it was a busy weekend on the Vegas front, everyone missed Daddy. Of course Joel and Derrick are the best picture takers so there's lots to document... or not.

The baby shower has already been covered in another post.

Then there's just the rest of life that happens without incident.  It includes work and lots of playing.  The girls are doing well with homeschooling even though much of the city is trying to figure out how to return to some semblance of normal schooling.  

Covid had disrupted a lot of the things that we used to do but some of those disruptions have been for the better.  Hailey and Emi have been able to spend their early-mid childhood mostly playing.  They dress up, play at the park, color, learn, and teach.  Hailey currently loves to use chalk and color on the wall in the back yard "teaching" the others about different subject.  It's currently space week.

I continue to get my weekly massages but since Joel is working overtime occasionally he added himself to the massage roster.  We are learning to take better care of our bodies and our minds.  Crafting and cultivating our individual selves so we can be better parents, teachers, workers, spouses, friends.

Joel is excited for a boy, but sometimes we wonder what might really be different.  Our girls are rambunctious and destructive and can play just as rough as any boy, whether they are in a princess dress or not!  Daylight savings time threw a kink in life and trying to ge the girls to actually go to sleep after the change was challenging.  We put them down and I went to take my nightly muscle relief bath only to hear Brystol screaming murder.  They should have been lights out and quiet by then... Nope, Hailey comes in and says that Brystol broke the outlet in the room with her head.  Lovely.  Any broken bones?  Blood?  Ok minor cut on Brystol forehead.  Go back to bed and I'll look at it after my bath!

No idea what she did but yep, she broke the electrical outlet in pieces and managed to push a good chunk of wall in.  Her head was hard enough she sustained a minor cut on her forehead.  Not even a goose-egg bump the next day.

We have had a few bonfires and dinner nights over at Ryan's.  The girls love that we had to push the trampoline, which is a 15 ft vs a 10 ft, over to the wall to keep the embers away.  Now they can jump off the wall and double bounce on the trampoline.  It's an older tramp so it's a little sun worn and they come out looking like street urchins covered head to toe in black.  Yep they play hard.  

Crepes and Waffles with Homemade whip cream is a thing.

Sleep, lots of sleeping happening here.

The new bunkbed sleeping arrangement

 

 

Living in a 3 bedroom, 1800 sq ft house with 3 kids and another on the way, we wondered, "Where are we going to put everyone?"  Hailey was originally in a room of her own and Emi and Brystol were in the other.  With Baby Brother coming, where was he going?  I'm not a co-sleeping type so my room isn't an option long term.  We went looking at stores for ideas around bunk beds and realized that a full size bed would fit two twin mattresses underneath it.  Purchasing a full size loft bed would have been around $500-600.  Joel said, "I can make it."  So we eventually designed something, made it to the supply store, and got the supplies.  Then we realized we didn't have the right tool and couldn't easily borrow it.  Thus our savings from building the loft bed ourselves washed out after Joel bought his new chop saw.  Happy man with new play toys/tools.  Happy girls with a new sleeping room.  

So how does the arrangement work?  We have a sleeping room and a play room.  The play room will eventually have a pack n play for night time and we purchased a moses bassinet type thing that can be placed on any bed surface.  So when the sleeping room is free, he can sleep in there.  When my room is free, he can sleep in there.  Eventually for nights he'll sleep in the play room.  We'll see how the plan actually works out once Baby is here.  

It took some time transitioning, but the girls have adjusted to all sleeping, ACTUALLY GOING TO SLEEP, in the same room.