Weighting and Watching

A few things have been on my mind lately.  First weight and figure and the pressure to look a certain way.  And second, "What do I do with my day?  Where does it go?  How come I didn't get anything done?!"

First the weight.  Yes I understand that I'm pregnant and you gain weight with that, but it goes beyond that.  My first pregnancy I tried hard not to gain and it drove me nuts watching the scale go up at each prenatal appointment.  This time, I have done my best not to eat too many popsicles.  I just don't buy ice cream for Joel because I end up eating it all.  We eat fairly healthily or at least try our best to, yet my body still swells and gains.  There was an article that I read, I don't remember who wrote it or where it can be found now, but the jist of it was a mom saying she wasn't going to miss out on the events of her kids life-especially summer fun in the pools and beaches, just because she felt insecure about her figure in a swim suit.  

I loved this article, or the moral of it.  I used to constantly wear shorts with my swimsuit.  I always thought I was bigger than I was and considered myself fat.  Looking back on pictures--after high school and some college--boy was a wrong.  My perception was totally off!  So, yes I may be gaining weight now, but I'm sure my perception still it totally skewed.  I know that sizes play mind games with us, but I want to just enjoy being as healthy as I can.  I have great blood pressure.  I have done my best throughout this pregnancy to work out 3-4 times a week with swimming and weights.  I'm doing the best I can and I should be happy about that.  I shouldn't shy away from doing things or even from the camera.  Luckily I'm behind it most of the time.  I shouldn't degrade myself when I do see pictures because this is just a phase of life.  I can get my body back, maybe not my pre-married body because some things have probably changed for good: Chest and hips and maybe my feet... Who knows.  Who cares.  I need to be more accepting of me.  I know Hailey is.

This leads me to my second point.  What do I do with all my time.  Yes sometimes it's wasted on things that don't matter, but lately I've tried to fall away from electronics and pick up books.  Hailey loves books.  I think I read her a book at least 10 times a day.  Yes it is usually the same two or three books.  Currently it's Baby Mickey's Book of Shapes.  Hailey entertains her self fairly well.  She loves the recent costco box that I brought home.  It has a partial opening in the front and she's realized she can climb in and chill out there.  She's been into the cubboards of tupperware.  She plays with a set of blocks and then because I made it a game, she usually has more fun putting all the blocks back into the container.  She loves to play in the pool and holler at people as they pass by, sometimes she just hollers.  She plays in her cubby between the bed and couch and I'm amazed at the things I find hoarded in there.  She loves playing with the gallon milk jugs and shoes!

She loves her bears and her blanket.  She loves our down comforter that is usually on the floor just in case it gets too cold from the AC.  So what do I do with all my time while she's playing.  I just watch.  There are things that the camera can't capture.  There are things that I'm sure I'll forget ever happened but at least I got to see them and maybe one day they'll randomly pop back into my head.  I love to watch her curiosity.  If it beeps or flashes she wants it.  I hope that I can record a small portion of her so that she can look later on and either love it or be embarassed. Either way, it's a memory captured.  So some days it may feel like I've wasted my day.  The floor is a mess, actually most things are a mess.  The dishes aren't organized to be washed.  But I'm okay because even as I sit here and type this she brings her shapes book up to me and then squishes in right next to me.  Thankfully it wasn't right on top of me like usual.  Oh and she's found her belly button...and mine.  No it doesn't stick out.  

Kick Kick, What on earth are you doing in there!

I was reminded that I was supposed to write a post about Emilee.  She got very adamant and active about the situation.  I was watching Hailey play tonight before bed.  I wonder if Emilee knew that Hailey was playing and wanted to play as well.  Hailey was a calm baby in my belly.  I rarely felt her and it was unheard of to actually be able to just watch my belly move.  Emilee is totally and completely different!  I have watched from above as my belly has done the wave!  I've noticed that most times when Hailey is awake and playing, so is Emilee.

So my thought.  It has taken some time to bond with Hailey.  No she didn't just pop out and we say, "Oh my gosh I just love you to death!"  I'm sure there are some people that have had this experience.  Joel was insistent upon finding out the gender this time, mostly in hopes of finding out it was a boy.  But it wasn't to be.  The interesting thing has been that because we know the gender and have picked a name, we can/have already started the love/bonding process with Emilee.  She's not even here though?!  Sure.  That's true.  So what's made the difference between her and Hailey?  I think it's the fact that we don't have to say "it" but can actually say her name.  A name is a powerful thing.

Emilee got hiccups that I could feel for the first time July 1st.  I thought having hiccups myself was annoying... hers are even worse!

June just wasn't complete without more fun and a few tears, but mostly fun.

With the temperatures rising and it being hot inside, we found a few ways to spend time outside without having to go too far.  Eventually though the 100 oz mug just got to small.

Hailey has a funny way of showing loyalty.  We've described it as, "Whoever has the food gets the love."  We made smoothies and even though she'd already eaten breakfast and a snack she still had room for a smoothie.  We have taught her that she needs to be sitting in order to get food.  This time and since then she had decided that instead of just sitting nicely she's going to lounge on me...  Then I can feed her like the little princess that she is.

Our friends, Jessica and Hyrum Boynton had their baby on Saturday.  We stopped over during when all went quickly from calm monitoring to an emergency c-section.  We came back later that night after things had calmed down and family had mostly gone home.  As we were talking they mentioned that Omega, their dog, was flipping out a little as they were getting ready to head to the hospital. It was now 9 pm.  They left at 3 a.m.   The look on their faces showed that they had completely forgotten about Omega. We asked if they needed us to get him and watch him until they could get him or find different arrangements.  It took him a night or so to calm down and stop pacing, but then as you can see he settled right in.  Hailey had a blast chasing him around and trying her best to give kisses or ticker her nose with his beard.  It was fun having him, but he's only a mile away. :)

For Hailey's birthday she got a few new toys.  One is a learn to walk and play stroller.  She enjoyed playing with it more before she could actually walk.  She still enjoys it and I'm sure it'll gets it use but the thing that has really got her excited is the small plastic pool.  It's been pretty hot on some of the days and staying inside makes for a wound up cranky kid.  She loves swimming at the YMCA so I figured the pool would be perfect.  When I first filled it up and let he near it she put her hands in it and splashed but not much more.  Then I put her feet in it and she realized that even though it was a little cold, it was water and she was going to play and explore.  The next challenge was getting in and out.  She mastered that quickly.

Hailey had her one year appointment today, June 26.  She is back on the charts with her weight and height.  She's out of the single digits!  We also decided to wait a year or so before we'd start doing vaccines.  That way her system and body was a little more developed and not so new and immature.  I was glad Joel came with.  He held Hailey while she got her eyes and ears checked.  She screamed bloody murder when Dr. Jullian looked in her ears with that contraption.  :)  Hysterical drama baby could have been a perfect title.  It was funny because after the normal check up she got her shots.  Only two fortunately and they gave them at the same time, one nurse for each leg.  She definitely cried but nothing compared to when Dr Jullian looked in her ears. Silly girl.  She was fussy for a few minutes but then calmed down a little.  I made sure to bring a stuffed animal and the lavender oil.  I put the oil on the ram so that when she clutched it she smelled the calming oil.  Worked well.  We got home, she ate and then went to bed...Went to be meaning she fumbled around in her crib 15 minutes before giving into sleep.  Our funny, little, brave girl.  The worst part came later that night when her muscles stated to cramp up from the Tetanus shot.  She wouldn't walk or crawl or move.  I put some white fir on her legs and when I rubbed one she cried instantly.  It was a mellow night watching a movie before bedtime.  Next morning though she was great.

We attempted to end June on a fun festive note.  The Boise Music Festival was in town and we had tickets!  We got there excited.  We wanted to see a few different artists.  One was in the early afternoon and one in the evening.  We figured we'd go for a little while, leave and get some errands done, and then come back later for the evening shows and events.  We got there a little after 1-1:30 but there was a notice that said you can't re-enter after 4:30.  That didn't work well because we hadn't finished our errands and Hailey needed a nap.  So we got to go for the couple hours.  We walked around, thought about getting airbrush tattoos.  Went into the convention area to get out of the heat, saw some really big fluffy white dogs.  I bet Hailey was excited to be #1 out of her stroller and #2 around big fluffy dogs that didn't run away like Omega.  Dogs are one of the few things that make her giggle on the spot.  So the music festival didn't end the way we had expected by seeing Train but instead we came home with Hailey's new carseat, it's purple, and we made biscuits and gravy.  We left the carseat upstairs for her to get used to.  She's actually accepting it a little more.  She's decided that it's actually fun to crawl in and out of it and sit there.  After the carseat exploration is was dinner time.  Biscuits and gravy!  Hailey especially enjoyed the gravy.  We put some on her biscuit and she'd just lick it right off before nibbling on the biscuit.  Oh our crazy little girl and our crazy day.

Things we've noticed.  Hailey's feet don't dangle in her high chair anymore.  They rest on the chair.  The other funny thing is that Hailey had a growth spurt recently.  No big deal except this time she's grown tall enough that she has to learn how to duck under things... like the table.  Usually she'd just wander around and be just fine but at the Norco store she tried to go under the table and ran forehead right into it.

Hailey is getting more and more independent but also learning things quickly.  She wants to use her own spoon to feed herself.  She helps but laundry in the dryer.  She also sits in the drier when I'm folding and sometimes hands me the clothes if she's not too busy throwing the dryer ball.  She also likes to help with dishes... most of the time it ends up in more dishes to wash than less but it's still hilarious what she does with things.  Yes we soaked our dishes in the bathtub... Don't judge.