Places of Refuge

This past weekend Joel and Hailey were in Lincoln NE for a friends wedding.  That left me home with Emilee from Thursday till Monday afternoon.  At first I thought, "Hey only taking care of one other person instead of three, this will be a nice break."  Well it doesn't work like that.  Just like making extra for dinner doesn't require much more effort, taking care of Hailey didn't take that much extra effort.  The part that I didn't plan on was the quiet, the silence, the lack of interaction.  It made the crying seem so much louder.  Friday night I went over to a friends and that helped but by Saturday the silence or crying was getting to me again. I had the thought to call Lynn and see if I could come down Sunday after church and stay till Monday when I had to pick up Joel and Hailey from the airport.

I packed up and headed down after church.  Lynn said she'd leave the door open so that I could come in and take a nap as well if they weren't up.  I don't think I realized just how tired I was.  I was twenty miles outside of Mountain Home when my eyes started to get droopy.  I finally made it there about 2:15, left Emilee in her carseat asleep, and laid down on the bed.  I only remember thinking I hope I can fall asleep.  Then next thing I know Emilee is crying and hungry.  I grab her and go sit in the living room on the recliner to feed her.  Everyone was still asleep and soo I was out again as well.  Emilee ate her fill and went to sleep as usually.  I hadn't kept track of the time.  I woke up to Lynn in the kitchen.  It was 4.  Almost two hours of nap time.  Wow.  It was nice and relaxing being able to crash out like that.

Being in their home has always been a calming place.  While staying at Lynn's, she made a few comments that had reference to my grandma Clarke.  I know that she loves/loved and misses my grandma a lot and she doesn't hesitate to show her emotions.  Something that I haven't always been accustomed to.  Whether it was genealogy or a bowl that was my grandmas or just sitting in the office on my grandma's old rocker/glider chair.  In all of my aunts and uncles, Lynn reminds me the most of my grandma.  Her laugh/chuckle, her grey hair, the things she has adopted from my grandma such as tips/tricks with canning, and probably much much more.

As my time with Lynn, her family, and her home are coming to an end, I realized something.  Her home is a place of refuge.  It was the same way with my grandma Clarke's home.  It's still that way with Grandpa Clarke.  This past April we--Joel, Hailey and I--took a trip to visit my grandpa Clarke and on the way we went to conference and Joel was able to go to his mission reunion for the first time.  Life had been hard on us from December to April and being at Grandpa's home was a refuge, a place of safety and comfort.  A place that was desperately needed.  A place that Joel and I were able to open up and talk to each other and it seemed as if our disputes or problems became much smaller.

Talking with Lynn this morning while canning peaches, I told her that sometimes Joel and I spend money that we probably shouldn't in order to do things that are more beneficial for us in the long run. Taking the trip to Grandpa Clarke's was expensive, but the healing and time we were able to spend with him and Margaret was more than worth it.  Joel flying out to Denver and then carpooling with friends to Nebraska for his best friends wedding was expensive, but the time he was able to spend bonding with Hailey and his friend was worth it.  Coming down to Mountain Home wasn't as expensive as those two things but definitely not in our budget, but it was worth it.

I have never been the sentimental type.  I didn't understand it.  That is until my Grandma passed away.  I loved her more than I ever realized.  In her last year of life she did so much for me that touched my heart when it was tender from returning from my mission.  She welcomed me into her home when I didn't have a place to stay before the wedding.  She and Grandpa helped me pick out a wedding dress.  She helped me alter my dress.  She lined up a photographer and helped me pick out flowers.  She worried about me when she saw me cry and she enjoyed laughing with me and making our quilt.  All of these things become like the bowl in Lynn's house.  Attached with memories and sentimental.

It has been a hard weekend but it has been a good weekend.  Thank you for the memories and the re-memories.

Coming to Town, Leaving Town

Since Emilee was born three weeks ago, we've had constant company on the weekends.  My mom and Dad were up to visit the weekend Emilee was born.  My mom stayed to help out for a week and left the following Sunday.  Then Tyler and his gf Mikel came to visit last week.  This week, nobody is coming to visit, but Joel and Hailey took a vacation to see Joel's best friend Alyssa get married.  We have a week break and then Dana is coming up for General Conference weekend.  After that it's Emilee's baby blessing and lots of people will be coming to visit!  Then I think we get a break.  We love having people over and going places but it sure takes it's toll on the apartment and keeping things clean.  Oh well, I'll use the newborn excuse. :)

Dad's Weekend

So, what's new to write about with all the adventures.  My dad really enjoyed his day with Hailey.  She didn't quite know how to handle his enthusiasm and gruffness but once wasn't sleep deprived for her naps they got along pretty well.  Joel and Dad would toss Hailey back and forth, play with Bear, and hang out.  We had a get together at a local park on Labor Day Monday with Mike, Lynn, Michelle and Chad.  Dad enjoyed taking Hailey to the different toys on the playground.  It was fun to watch.  

Mom's Weekend

Mom spent a good chunk of her time watching Hailey while she was here.  There's not a whole ton someone can do when it comes to caring for a newborn.  Most of the time they eat and sleep.  Eating falls to me to provide.  But only having to think about one little one was a great help.  My mom also helped me put together the bamboo inserts that I had purchased fabric for.  I realized it would be cheaper to make my own vs buy them.  12 inserts for $65 with shipping included vs the $140 it would have been to purchase them.  

Tyler and Mikel's Weekend

Tyler has been trying to come up and visit for a while.  It just worked out that Emilee was born and he was ready for a break from reality.  They got in late Thursday night, 4 am late.  Unfortunately I was up and so was Joel.  He was waiting up for them and I had just barely gotten Emilee back to sleep and was up talking with Joel.  It was a good weekend.  I was grateful for Mikel.  She sat and held Emilee while I did my best to can pears.  I got 14 quarts done thanks to her.  The rest of the pears...they had to wait and were turned into other things.  Dried pears.  Pear sauce. Pear Juice.  

We tried to have a good time while they were here and I think we accomplished that.  Tyler had been craving sushi for 6 months--that was the last time we all went to sushi after conference.  Then we made sure to include a trip to the Y to swim.  That was fun but a bummer at the same time.  I wan't quite cleared to get in the pool after having Emilee so I got to sit on the sidelines... not cool!  For someone who loves water, sitting and watching others play is torture!  Then Saturday afternoon/evening we went to the Hyde Park Festival in old town Boise.  That was a lot of fun.  Music and lots of vendor booths and the typical carnival food.  

Joel and I accomplished 3 goals at this festival.  Since the beginning of the summer when we'd go to a music festival or rodeo or some type of outing, Joel has always wanted the fresh squeezed lemonade, but it's never worked out that we got one.  I have never had a smoke turkey leg and they've always looked tempting.  Lastly, we wanted to get tattoos...henna tattoos since the real thing isn't an option. The lemonade was really good.  The turkey leg was ok but really gristly... curiosity satisfied, hunger... not so much.  AND we got our tattoos.  Tyler and Mikel got one as well.  Joel got a turtle because doing a free handed iron cross was a bit much for the artists without a stencil.  Then as he's walking away he realizes what he should have gotten.  A treble clef on one wrist and a bass clef on the other.  He got the bass clef but not the treble.  I got a leafy flowery design on my ankle.  Tyler got a different designed turtle on his bicep. Mikel got a star with ornamentation on her forearm.  I think our tattoos fit us fairly well. :)

It was a busy weekend with lots of conversation, teasing, and laughing.  They enjoyed playing with Hailey.  The best part was Hailey trying to get Mikel's attention during naps or in the morning.  She'd be up and want Mikel to pay attention.  Hi, hi, hi, hi... sit down.  Stand back up.  Hi! Babble babble... Mikel did her best to ignore her and turn over. Hailey was definitely sad when she didn't have a roommate anymore.

Two very different babies

I am slowly coming to the realization that Hailey and Emilee are two very different babies.  Blonde with blue eyes and brunette with brown eyes.  Hailey cried a ton and rarely slept.  Emilee sleeps a ton and cries during her witching hours 10pm-2 or 3 a.m. or if shes hungry. Emilee is very calm and I'm gratedul for that.  She doesn't mind living in her swing because she sleeps great in it.  Hailey was and still remains a baby that likes her own space.  She'll cuddle with you but only for short time.  Cosleeping was a miserable fail.  Emilee is the exact opposite.  She wants to be right next to you.  She will side feed great at night and then loves to fall asleep right after that but skin to skin or bodily contact needs to remain unbroken until she's long past REM sleep.  Emilee will sleep 4-6 hours if you keep her right next to you.  This is fun to watch in a way because in the morning if shes still on the bed Joel will cuddle up to her after I've left.  The funny part in all this was that Joel was terrified when Hailey was born to have her anywhere close to him while he was sleeping because he didn't want to roll over on her.  Valid point.  Non-existent point now.

  

A few other things I've noticed.  Emilee would rather sleep than eat.  Hailey loved to eat even though she burped up most of the time and had tummy troubles. Emilee like I said above, loves her sleep.  She will probably be one of those babies that falls asleep in her spaghetti.  Hailey has always been too aware and alert.

When I first had Hailey, I hadn't been married long and life was dramatic and it seemed like adjustment after adjustment.  A new baby was just another adjustment and I was handling it well.  Thankfully I made it through and had lots of help.  With Emilee I was worried that it was going to be the same type of thing.  I didn't know how I was going to handle and care for two little ones as well as take care of the house and Joel.  I know it's only been just under two weeks.  I'm still tired from the lack of sleep, but I'm surviving.  My mom was worried when she left and saddened that she couldn't stay another week and help more.  I think though that by leaving she helped more than she realized.  It was the time when I had to buck up and sink or swim.  Well since I spent most of my pregnancy in the water, I figured I'd swim.  Well, Emilee is starting to stir.  Better take advantage while I have only one awake.