Joel's family has been here the later end of December, just after Christmas, for a fun visit. Everyone has been hoping Brystol would be born or have come by now, but she hasn't. I have an appointment with Tiffany, our midwife, every 3-4 days to check heartbeat and position. My body just hasn't been ready to give birth, even with attempted natural induction methods. Also every couple of days I go in for a biophysical profile ultrasound to check Brystol's movement of her limbs and diaphragm and to check the level of fluid surrounding her. Everything has been spot on with no signs to worry.
On Tuesday 1/2, I had an ultrasound in the morning, dropped Joel and family and the girls off at the airport, had a midwife checkup and went home. Everything was looking healthy. On Monday Jaime had asked if she could take Hailey and Emi home with them for a week or so. They enjoyed the time, it would be a great Christmas present for Bobbie Rae and it would give me time to relax and hopefully let Brystol come. Then have alone and bonding time with Brystol without the stress of caring for 2 rambunctious toddlers. We made the necessary arrangements for travel. The airlines just added Hailey and Emi to the previous itinerary at the same cost-not next day travel fares--which was awesome! Then off they went.
Joel had class Tuesday evening but came home a little early. It was nice having him home but it was strangely quiet without the girls. Around 8:30 that night I had a couple cramp like feelings but wasn't sure if it was just cramping from the midwife check. She had tried a membranes sweep, but couldn't really do much because my body wasn't ready for it and Brystol wasn't quite in the right position. By 9 Joel looked at me and said, "Are you having contractions?" I said, possibly. I again wasn't sure if it was just cramping because the contractions were pretty manageable.
Well, by around midnight I had been tracking the contractions and they were coming every 3-5 minutes and lasting about 30-60 seconds. Tiffany said that was about when she wanted us to call. So call we did. Tiffany and Cora showed up about 30 minutes later. We were up watching the Great British Baking Show. For some reason that show has enough entertainment that I could watch and still handle the contractions.
Joel was exhausted from waking up early and made it to about 2 a.m when he decided to go to bed. I was having regular contractions every 2-3 minutes but by around 3:30, I was exhausted. Tiffany said go lay down. Sometimes laying down on your side can increase and speed things up. Fortunately, my contractions slowed down to about 1 every 30 minutes and I was able to get about 2-3 hrs of sleep.
The whole night was pretty mellow. Tiffany and Cora crashed on the couch. Tiffany would monitor Brystol's heart rate every 30-60 minutes. Everything was looking strong. In the morning I still had some contractions but they had stalled a bit. I got up and took a shower. Then they were completely gone. I thought that was strange. So I sat down and folded some laundry that had piled up and was irritating me. Everyone woke up around 8 ish.
Around 9, I said I was hungry. As was everyone else. I wanted cream of wheat but had just run out a couple days earlier. Tiffany said she could go to the store and get some. I wanted out of the house so Tiffany, Joel and I all went to our Neighborhood store. As we walk in the door, I grimace with a minor contraction and it makes a store attendant stop and ask if I was ok. I said yep and kept on going. We grabbed our things and waited for Tiffany. Then the same attendant watched a little longer and said, Are you in labor? I said, yep. But don't worry, my midwife is just checking out now! It was funny to see the reactions of the store employees. A little worried that I might give birth right there and a little amazement that I wasn't in the hospital yet with an epidural.
We got home, made our breakfast and continued to hang out and watch the baking show. Around 10-11 the contractions got more intense. I remember having a contraction and then after getting through it said, Wow! That one sucked and was no fun! Tiffany just kept tabs on Brystol and watched. She knew what was going on but stayed quiet and just let me work through things.
Around 11:50 I needed to use the bathroom--typical--I felt like I had to do that frequently throughout labor. But this time was different. I got to the bathroom and the contractions just kept coming with greater intensity. Tiffany had said that my body would know when I needed to push and she was right. I called out for Joel and he came. But come to find out later on that he didn't actually hear his name, he just heard an increase in labor sounds and decided he better come check. Good thing he did. Tiffany and Joel both came and said, it's time. Lets move you back out to the living room where we have the tarp and blanket and where all of Tiffany's stuff was set up. I had a hard time getting going, but we started heading for the living room.
Now to explain something about our setup. The living room is a large area right as you enter the front door. The front door has a small 6 inch by 4 ft window that allows you to see right into the living room or out the door. I realized that I didn't want a passer-by to come to the door and be able to look right in and see the whole birth happening, so I maneuvered over to the front door to open the coat closet to block the window. I turned around to head for the blanket and carpet and my water broke in the entry way. Well at least that will make for easy clean up! But that is where I stayed. The contractions and intense feeling to push became overwhelming and I wasn't moving anywhere. They tried. I refused.
So Tiffany moved all of her things over, they grabbed some towels and a couple chuck/moisture absorbing square pads and laid everything right there. Joel was there the whole time as my support. Sometimes I rested my head on his shoulders, sometimes I buried my head in his chest. Tiffany suggested a different position which put me on my back, flat, and said to do crunch type movement. It may sound like that'd be easy. Go from hands and knees to my back, but it was hard and took considerable mental concentration to convince my mind and body to move. I moved in segmented motions. From hands and knees to squatting one leg under me, one leg bent. Then I used Joel as a pully system and leaned back while he held my outstretched. Eventually, after a few rounds of that position, I made it to my back. I had gone from cool to burning up quite quickly. They had a wet towel, but it was nice as well that once I got tot he floor it was cool and cold. Brystol came shortly after I hit that position and could crunch her out!
Many people today can't even think of delivering a baby without an epidural. The pain is overwhelming and scary for some. I have taken the hypnobirthing class where they show mom's who are super calm and never make a sound. Well, that's definitely not me. It is painful! I won't lie and tell anyone that it isn't.
I talked with Joel a couple days after the birth. With Brystol's birth I reverted back to memories of Hailey's birth. What did it feel like? When did I hit that wall where I said, I can't do it anymore? What was the different in pain between active labor vs when I knew she was going to come out with this or the next push? These were all things that have happened in each birth and I was glad I could pull from previous experiences. But was it easy... not a chance. Part of me debates on having a delivery with an epidural but I always come back to my senses. I wouldn't do well being immoble or not being able to feel. Next time I won't be cheap and I'll use the birth tub if I have time. I totally had time this time, but didn't think I would, so I didn't plan for it.
Continuing to talk with Joel-- There's always a point in delivery, as Joel describes it where I've been climbing the steep mountain and I get to a cliff that is straight up and I look up after running into the wall and say, I just can't do that. But I can, I just need someone there--Reinike with Hailey, and Joel with Brystol, to tell me you can do it. Push through the pain and you'll be right there. You can do it. You can climb that rock face. Climb the sheer scary rock face and then the downhill comes. After Brystol is was born, was instant relief. It's rather amazing.
Brystol was born Wednesday January 3, 2018 at 12:33. She was 7 pounds 12 oz and 21 inches long. She had a full head of brown hair. She was long and skinny.
After a few minutes of relax time, birthing the placenta, and clean up time, Tiffany moved us to our bedroom to relax on our bed. That was hard work! Joel, Brystol and I just hung out for a little while to rest while Tiffany and Cora cleaned up and got a load of laundry started. After that she came in and checked Brystol for height, weight, heart rate and all of the medical stuff.
She checked that I was doing well with no hemorrhages and then gave us our discharge notes. I wasn't allowed to do anything for the rest of the day. I wasn't to be left alone for the next 24 hrs to make sure I didn't pass out. I wasn't to go anywhere or even use the bathroom without help or slight supervision. Ok. I could do that. Staying in bed was impossible, so eventually we moved back out to the living room and spent the rest of the day on the couch vegging.
People look at me strange and have questions and curiosity when I told them I had chosen a home birth. When people saw the picture of me in the doorway on the floor a few have asked, did you plan to have her right there or just not quite make it out the door!
I have given birth in a hospital twice and now once at home. I loved everything about the prenatal care and birth experience with Tiffany at home. Yes, it was inconvenient to drive to Henderson for check ups. Mostly because the traffic getting home always took longer than the appointment. But it was worth it. I loved that my appointments were purely medical. There were many times where we would sit and talk and become friends. Once, we were the last appointment and Joel was there. We all got distracted talking about weddings and shooting and all kinds of things that soon an hour and a half had passed before we said, we should all probably go home! My midwife wasn't just a medical provider that did her job. She has become a friend that I hope to keep in contact with for a long time.
I loved that even though Brystol was technically 18 days "late," I was never forced to have a medical induction. As long as Brystol and myself were healthy and strong, it was green lights.
I loved that even though people kept telling me I needed to be induced that Tiffany went with her gut, followed personal promptings that told her things were ok, and let Brystol come when she and I were ready.
I loved that I was able to call or text Tiffany night or day with questions or concerns and she would get back to me quickly. I loved that when it was time for labor I knew that my midwife was going to be there, not someone who was on call at that moment.
I loved that they just came and chilled with me through it all and stepped into action once everything started happening.
I loved being in my own home, my own environment, my comfortable places.
I loved that when we went to the store, Tiffany came right along with. She was always right there throughout the whole pregnancy-not just labor day.
I loved being able to sleep in my own bed after having Brystol. I'm sure Joel loved that as well. He was able to get decent sleep the night before Brytol was born, as well as decent enough sleep after. No cramped small pull out couches.
I have appreciated being able to rest and recover while Hailey and Emi have been in Wyoming. It is bitter sweet because they aren't here to welcome their baby sister, but they have plenty of time once they get home. We did video chat with them once Brystol was here so they could see her. They loved that and they love getting pictures.
Brystol is a calm, chill, beautiful baby girl. She eats. She poops. She sleeps. That threw me off the first night because she would eat and then I would lay her down but she would get cranky. It took me a night to realize that she is the typical eat, poop, sleep baby. Emi was eat, sleep and poop once a week or so.
We are slowly coming to recognize how she operates, her likes and dislikes. Her schedule and temperaments. She loves to be warm and gets cold easily. She likes to sleep right next to you, as close as possible. She loves falling asleep on the top of your chest, over your heart, with her head right under your chin. This is the position she crawled into when she was first born. Right under your chin.
We realized the first night or so that she doesn't like it pitch black and absolutely quiet. So at night we have a humidifier that produces white noise. Can't do too much about the light, but we did get a red light bulb and put it in one of the bedroom lamps so there is some light as she's going to sleep.
Joel was hesitant and not all for a home birth when I first brought it up. But he realized that the anxiety I get from hospitals wasn't worth the fight. He warmed up much more to the thought as we developed the relationship with our midwife. Although, he'll tell you a home birth isn't for everyone, he wouldn't discourage someone interested in it from giving it a try. For us, it has been a wonderful experience. I haven't always been able to say that 100% about each of my birth stories, so this is a blessing.
I was blessed with a long but fairly nausea free pregnancy. I wasn't sick free. I got shingles and the flu and a stomach bug. I was blessed with a strong body that didn't pain me with sciatica and other back problems like Emi's pregnancy. I did have extremely sore sides and hips from only being able to sleep on the one side for so long at the end of pregnancy. I have been extremely blessed with a mellow baby that sleeps well, eats well, and in general is calm and mild. I stayed pretty active throughout my pregnancy so Brystol's baby weight is literally melting off. It's been a week and there's only 5 pounds to go. That being said, weight doesn't mean toned... I did go out and purchase a belly bind wrap to help give my core and back some added stability. I will still have to work and tone those back up. Body racked during the last 10 months, check. Worth it? Definitely.
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